DaffynitionsAquadextrious:The art of turning the bathtub tap on with your toes.Pain:A cat licking your sunburn.Budget:A method for going broke methodically.Willpower:The ability to eat only one salted peanut.Profanity:The linguistic crutch of inarticulate idiots.Boat:A hole in the water surrounded by wood intowhich one pours money.Bachelor:One who treats all women as sequels.Cigarette:A pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper,fire at one end, fool at the other.Flashlight:A case for holding dead batteries.Taxpayer:Someone who doesn't have to take a publicservice exam to work for the government.Consciousness:That annoying time between naps.Stress:The confusion created when ones mind overridesthe body's basic desire to choke the living daylights outof some idiot who desperately needs it.Jury:Twelve people who determine which clienthas the better lawyerChickens:The only animals you eat before they areborn and after they're dead.Hospitality:Making your guests feel at home,even if you wish they were.Adult:A person who has stopped growing at both endsand is now growing in the middle.---Outgoing mail is certified